Marriage in an Age of Chaos: Struggle in Love, Love in Struggle

A Runaway Train: Modern Marriages Under Pressure

Today’s marriages face extraordinary challenges, making survival and success seem elusive. Globalization and the rising cost of living are runaway trains, taking family stability along for the ride.

In an interconnected world, work demands have grown exponentially. CEOs and business owners chase quarterly targets while employees push harder for less. The result? Twelve- to fifteen-hour workdays, spouses coming home drained, and technology further intruding on family time. Smartphones and laptops compete for attention, leaving couples with only emotional leftovers.

Add the ever-increasing cost of living, and many families find themselves stretched thin. Working multiple jobs becomes the norm but at the expense of emotional connection. The price? Marriages are falling apart as couples fail to prioritize the most vital relationship in their lives.

As one couple puts it, “We work hard to live, but forget to live for each other.”

Small Fights, Big Impact: The Quiet Destroyers of Marriages

Conflicts in marriage rarely erupt from monumental issues. It’s the little things—the dripping faucets of irritation—that wear down the foundation of love.

For Alison and me, the early years of marriage were a battlefield. Small arguments over towels, heaters, and parenting styles became daily occurrences. Even our honeymoon was marked by clashes. A simple disagreement over how to pack suitcases turned into years of squabbles before vacations.

One incident stands out: driving to the Polynesian Village in Oahu. My intuitive driving clashed with her meticulous map-following. We both ended up frustrated, each convinced the other was impossible.

But here’s the truth we discovered: It’s not the conflict itself that breaks marriages; it’s how we handle it.

The Personality Puzzle: Understanding Differences

The game-changer for Alison and me came when we took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. Discovering that I was an ENFP (spontaneous, feeling, and adaptable) while she was an ISTJ (structured, practical, and logical) was a revelation.

We learned that our differences weren’t just obstacles, they were opportunities for growth. Her preference for closure balanced my openness, and my flexibility softened her rigidity.

The beauty of marriage lies in the dance of opposites. When couples embrace differences as strengths rather than weaknesses, they can build deeper, more meaningful connections.

The Hard Work of a Great Marriage

Building a strong marriage is like riding a tandem bike: partners must pedal together. There is no stationary position. You’re either moving forward or sliding backwards.

Success requires consistent effort, patience, and humility. It’s about choosing love even when it’s hard, forgiving when it feels impossible, and working through differences when giving up seems easier.

As I reflect on our journey, one truth stands out: Great marriages aren’t born; they’re built, brick by brick, day by day.

A Shared Journey of Struggles and Pain with Light and Hope

To every couple struggling with the pressures of modern life, you are not alone. The challenges are real, but so is the potential for a deeper, more fulfilling relationship.

I want to share this journey with you.

But before you go, I’m gathering insights on ‘Contributing Factors to Marriage Breakdowns and Divorces’ to help foster meaningful conversations and address these challenges. Your input would mean a lot, and it would be great if you could share this with your friends, too. Here’s the link:
 https://bit.ly/surveyfactorsondivorcebreakups

Thank you for participating!