Parenting can be traumatic for any new parent. From pregnancy to being thrown into caring for a newborn can be a blur. For mothers in particular, bodily changes can be a real nightmare. To cope with little to no sleep and navigating this new routine is especially daunting for new parents. 

After a tiring and exhausting delivery all night, I was literally thrusted into learning how to breastfeed and care for my newborn on July 26, 2022. To be honest, I was not the happiest mother that morning when my baby finally arrived. In fact, I was upset that I did not have much time to have food, and no rest to prepare myself mentally for the workload ahead. I started to wonder if this was how many new mothers started their journey. 

Fast forward ten months and I am somewhat rested and ready to devour anyone who threatens to hurt my child. I have a deep, newfound respect for all mothers as I am finally coming to understand the physical, mental and emotional sacrifices that mothers make to care for their young. To care for a newborn and deal with their needs has been nothing but humbling for me. 

The first lesson I learned (which I wish I knew earlier) was never to compare myself or my baby to others. When I first started learning how to breastfeed my baby, the midwife told me that my baby was not good at latching. She told me that my baby needed more practice and was not learning as fast as others. I was emotionally disturbed hearing it because it didn’t occur to me that a newborn should be a professional latcher!

My second lesson was that parents are their childrens’ only cheerleaders. From the day we found out we were pregnant, we kept praying and encouraging our little one to grow well. Knowing I was 5 weeks pregnant made us elated, but at the same time worry if she would make it. Since then, I realized that as parents, we need to assume the role of cheerleader because in life, there are so many voices she will encounter. And if she chooses to listen to the right ones, she will be unafraid to be her genuine self in this world.

Lesson three came about while I was overwhelmed with caring for my newborn in the earlier months. Many of my friends who were a lot more seasoned as parents gave me their two cents worth: ‘it only gets better’ and, ‘the days may be long, but the years are short’. These pieces of advice I received were my mantra when I had long and tough days or nights with my newborn. Soon I learned to slowly embrace the seasons, even the tough ones with my little firecracker.

Looking back, my experience in parenting was definitely to first survive. But now both Olivia and I have slowly learned how not to just survive, but thrive through the different stages in our life. For her, it was to continue in learning how to navigate this world, and for me, to continue learning how to be her mother – unapologetically.

To learn more about parenting, check out our latest course, ‘The First Year’ by Content Creator Parcsen Loke.