This article covers another factor that causes failure in leaders – marital fallout; and what can leaders do to avoid this pitfall.

5.‘We hurt the Ones we love’…Marital Fallout

Jane is a very successful CEO of a global tech company, married for 20 years with two sons, Dave, 18 years and George, 16 years.

Her world tumbled and turned upside down when she uncovered her equally efficacious husband having extra-marital affair with a close associate in his start-up.

After much altercation, including physical violence in the family, the couple finally called it quits. The children were most affected.

What tore her heart most was when her two sons aligned themselves with the father. She became depressed, often entertaining thoughts of suicide.

She confessed, “I scored ‘A’ in my career but a ‘F’ in marriage.”

This story is not uncommon.

Many multi-millionaire chief executives, exceptionally successful celebs, and adrenaline-driven multi-medaled champions crumble and fail in one area where it matters the most – Marital Relationships.

The critical reasons for this marital fall-out include:

• absenteeism/presentism due to hectic schedules,
• narcissistic personality needed to be self-gratified and achieve perfection,
• higher sexual temptations due to fame,
• greater wealth leading to discontentment and greed,
• the inability to cope with normality of life in contrast to the surreal power of special privileges.

What breaks my heart the most is these people can be role-models of beautiful relationships. Many have fallen prey to depression and suicide.

Studies suggest that people who have recently experienced marital breakups are more likely to have symptoms of depression than people who are in healthy relationships.

Research suggests that women are more likely to experience depression after a breakup than men.

Intense sadness and lack of interest are two common symptoms of relational breakdown and depression. Sadness comes in waves and fluctuates.

Depression happens only when these symptoms last for at least 2 weeks and interferes with everyday functioning.

If a person does not receive treatment for depression after a breakup, there can be serious effects. The most serious is an increase in the risk of suicide.

What are the symptoms of marital breakdown?

According to Relationships Australia, early warning signs of relationship breakdown include:

• you don’t do things together as much as before.
• you have recurring arguments about the same issues that are never resolved.
• you feel dissatisfied and unhappy.
• you have sex less often, not at all, or it isn’t what it used to be.
• one partner spends increasing time on interests and activities outside the relationship.
• there is a loss of warmth and friendliness in the relationship, one or both of you speak of no longer being in love.
• you feel tired and less able to meet responsibilities at work and at home.
• your arguments about the children continue.
• one of you has an addiction that is affecting the relationship.
• you or your partner have had intimate relationships outside of your relationship.
• one of you is abusive, degrading, controlling and dominating, indicating family violence.

How you cope during these dark times will depend on your ability to manage your thoughts and actions, and to recognise when things are out of hand.

Many do not cope well.

Depression caused by marital failures: This is the price of champions, CEOs and celebrities.

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