This article examines why reuniting relationships (being able to reconnect to other people we know) is important for our social and emotional health.

“Peace begins and ends with a smile.” Mother Teresa

I have been following the release of the hostages and Hamas prisoners very closely over the
past few days.

The peace truce and the reconnecting of relationships have brought indescribable joy and
immense relief to many, especially those who have lost loved ones and were disconnected
from their loved ones, whether they be Israelis or Palestinians.

There is no doubt the journey to long-lasting peace between Palestine and Israel is fraught
with almost impossible challenges, and many more months of hard-nose trade-offs.

I don’t intend to dissect the historical and geo-political causes of the war.
Instead, I want to explore the joy of human reconnections.

Before we point our fingers at either Hamas or the Israelis, we should examine our own
hearts because as someone rightly points out, “The home is the most abusive and conflict
place today!”

The intense plea for human reconnections and peace, whether by the Israelis and
Palestinians, is heightened as the world watches the untold misery, bitter hatred,
unimaginable evil, and the horrendous deaths of war.

Whether in our home, our workplace, the ubiquitous question haunts us, “Why can’t we get
along?”

But, having all been said and done, the 4-day peace truce coupled with the coordinated
humanitarian efforts, mediated by the exchange of Israeli hostages and Palestinian
prisoners, is a very good start.

This pursuit of peace by the international communities is worth ALL the investment of time,
space, effort and resources by many countries.
Hopefully, this will be a watershed moment in the history of the Middle East.

The pause forces us to reflect. Why is Human Reconnection so valued?

1. The inmost yearning of every human being

“I cried out of happiness,” says Boonyarin Srichan, mother of released Thai hostage

Boonyarin Srichan is the mother of Nutthawaree Munkan, who was one of the Thai
hostages, released on the first day of the hostage release by Hamas.

Srichan lives in Khon Kaen province, one of the country’s poorest, with her 8-year-
old granddaughter.

She shared she couldn’t contain her happiness and ran around her home, jumping
up and down together with her granddaughter.

The Hebrew word for peace is ‘Shalom’, the Arabic word is ‘Salam’.
It means wholeness of being. The word is taken from the root word shalam, which
means, ‘to be safe in mind, body, or estate’.

It speaks of completeness, fullness, or wholeness that encourages you to give back
— to generously re-pay something in some way.

When a Muslim or Jew greet you, ‘Shalom’, s/he is wishing you, ‘May you be full of
well-being’. This is every human person’s innermost treasured desire – to be truly
whole in ourselves and wish wholeness in another.

Unfortunately, what is happening in the Hamas-Israeli conflict today is a complete
contradiction and contrast. The personal life is broken, fractured, and decimated.

When that happens, disintegrating personal life will cause immense pains and
indiscriminate hurt to others, whether out of relentless incriminations or
disproportionate revenge.

Disintegrated minds and hearts have led to inexplicable suicides of celebrities like
Coco Lee, Matthew Perry, Malaysian Singer, Ai Cheng. Today, this has caused the
deaths of many young and the old, who have become disillusioned with life and lost
hope in living.

That’s why unless we find back our shalom, life can indeed be miserable.

2. The deepest longing of every relationship

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot
drive out hate: only love can do that.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the room” when five hostages were reunited with their
families, Israel’s chief nurse Dr Shoshy Goldberg reported at a news conference at
Wolfson Medical Centre near Tel Aviv.

The five elderly women were received in a specially prepared complex for them and
their families. The reunions as a “very emotional and exciting event,” Goldberg said.

Videos provided by the hospital showed people cheering as ambulances carrying
three of the women transported them from a helicopter.

This same scene was repeated in the Palestine.

Whether it is husband-wife, parent-child, grandparent-grandchildren, or friend-to-
friend relationships, emotionally connected relationships make life worth living.

I believe everyone deeply aspires such kind of emotionally connected relationships,
whether in our marriages, families, organizations, clans, communities or countries.

Dan Siegel believes that we are hard-wired for emotional connections. We don’t just
observe others’ actions, but perceive (in some way) their internal world. This is made
possible by ‘mirror’ neurons—the pathways in our brains that let us act on how
another person is feeling.

I experience a modicum of such joy when I see:
• My three children returned home to care for their mom, who just went for
hip replacement operation.
• My daughter, Meixi takes over the care of her grandmother every day
because her mom could not do it anymore due to her operation.
• Most of all, when my three children engage in controversial discussions,
intense debates and yet remain loving and caring. Or when they made
emotional bids to connect with each other.

All parents desire emotionally connections with their children and rejoice when their
children really care for each other. This is hard-wired in our DNA.

3. The greatest desire of every country

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by
understanding.” Albert Einstein

It is so heartening to see the international community joining hands to restore
human connections and save lives in the pursuit of peace.

The Qatar, Egypt, Israel, Iran, Palestinian, Thai, Philippine and the USA governments
as well as many NGOS have spared no effort in brokering this truce so that lives can
be saved, and human relationships restored.

Yes, each country and NGO has their own mixed agendas. But each is committed to a
common cause and willing to pay the price for peace, albeit temporarily.

In our extremely divided world of violence, racial discrimination, gender inequality,
income disparity, political extremism, any effort to secure peace, however small or
slow must be encouraged and applauded. Not to be criticized or become cynical.

Few have believed this ceasefire could ever happen, especially after the Oct 7 Hamas
attacks and after more than 47 days of relentless bombings by Israel, resulting in the
most horrendous war.

Any flickering or slither of hope is a beacon of light in a world of darkness.

4. The truest reflection of God’s character

“Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God”
(Matt 5: 9)

What breaks God’s heart most deeply is seeing His children living in this very broken,
evil and divided world.

We all know the beauty and joy of human reconnections.
The Israel-Hamas war is the best example of what the world should not be and
should not do.

To me, the Israeli-Hamas war is a microcosm of what’s happening in our homes,
organizations, communities and countries today.

We are too busy with our own self-aggrandizements, too engrossed in building our
empires, too consumed with greed and too addicted in the pursuit of material
wealth, and in some instances, too intent on destroying each other.

The biggest challenge in emotionally connected relationships today is NEGLECT.
We spare no effort and time to fulfill our passion and ambition. We put little or no
effort and time to strengthen relationships.

We wage wars in our homes and organizations before we reawaken to the
destruction of our children, neighbors and employees.

That’s why I have devoted my life to peace-making firstly in my marriage & family.
Then, secondly, to help mend relationships in families and in my consulting work at
META: Making Enterprises Truly Amazing begins with relationships.

My hope for you is to find shalom in your life, marriage, family, organization, city and
country.

It is the most valuable gift you can give to yourself and to others.
It is something worth fighting for! Worth all your investments!

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First Year Parenting – Thriving or Surviving?