“The grass is not greener on the other side; it is greener where you water it.”

– Neil Barringham –

The Leading Causes of Marital Breakdown

Infidelity remains one of the leading causes of marital breakdown, affecting thousands of couples worldwide.

My recent survey, Contributing Factors to Marital Breakdown, revealed the top five reasons couples separate:

● Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs – 56.8% (Ranked #1)

● Chronic Unresolved Conflicts – 50.0%

● Conflicting Life Values and Priorities – 47.7%

● Emotionally Detached Relationships – 28.1%

● Financial Disagreements – 21.8%

This article focuses on the #1 cause of divorce—infidelity—and why it continues to shatter marriages worldwide.

The Rise of Infidelity in the Digital Age

Cheating is more accessible than ever. Social media, dating apps, and explicit online content have fueled a rise in infidelity. Consider these alarming statistics:

● 40% of divorces cite infidelity as a major cause

● 20% of married men and 13% of married women admit to cheating at least once (Institute for Family Studies)

● The pornography industry generates $97 billion annually, with 1 in 5 mobile searches being for adult content

The question remains with temptation lurking at every turn: Why do people risk their marriages for fleeting pleasure?

How Infidelity Begins: The Slippery Slope

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”

– Samuel Johnson –

Affairs rarely begin with deliberate betrayal. They start subtly—through emotional connections, casual conversations, or workplace friendships.

Common Triggers of Infidelity

● Emotional Disconnection: When a spouse feels neglected, they may seek validation elsewhere.

● Workplace Affairs: Studies show 60% of office affairs start emotionally before becoming physical.

● Long-Distance Relationships: Separation increases loneliness and temptation.

Real Story: The CEO’s Mistake

David, a high-powered CEO, had no intention of betraying his wife. But late nights at the office turned into after-hours drinks with his assistant. What started as a professional bond became a personal entanglement. Before he knew it, he had lost his family, reputation, and self-respect—all for a fleeting affair.

The Psychology of Infidelity: Why Is It So Tempting?

“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”

– Ernest Hemingway –

Infidelity, being the #1 Factor in Marital Breakdown, isn’t just about sex—it’s about the thrill of the forbidden. The brain releases dopamine, the same neurotransmitter linked to drug addiction, making affairs exciting yet destructive.

Infidelity doesn’t always stem from dissatisfaction — it can also be a result of opportunity, unmet emotional needs, or personal insecurity. The Gottman Institute explores common motivations behind infidelity, such as emotional distance and lack of communication.

Temptation in Everyday Life

While traveling in Shanghai one winter, I was approached by two young women dressed for summer.

“Do you feel cold?” one asked with a sly smile.

“Of course I do!” I replied, pulling my jacket tighter.

“Do you need to be warmed?” she pressed.

Their persistence was impressive, but I knew the game. I quickened my pace and headed for my hotel, where the security guards’ presence relieved me.

This scenario repeats itself in Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, and Manila. Temptation is everywhere—but so is the power to say no.

A Simple Rule for Avoiding Infidelity

● Never travel alone if you can help it

● Surround yourself with accountability

● Say a firm and unwavering “No” to temptation

The Consequences of Infidelity

● Emotional devastation for spouses and children

● Financial loss due to divorce settlements

● Reputation damage and loss of trust

● Guilt and regret that often last a lifetime

The emotional damage caused by betrayal can be long-lasting, affecting trust and intimacy. Psychology Today explains how infidelity impacts both the cheated-on partner and the relationship dynamic as a whole.

Real Story: The Lonely Housewife

A Filipino maid featured on Singapore’s Get Real! documentary admitted to having an affair with a Bangladeshi construction worker. Her reason?

“If my husband can do it, why can’t I?”

This tragic reality highlights how loneliness and betrayal can drive even the most committed spouses toward infidelity.

Final Thoughts: Protecting Your Marriage

Infidelity doesn’t happen overnight. It begins with small compromises that snowball into life-altering mistakes.

How to safeguard your marriage:
✅ Prioritize emotional intimacy with your spouse
✅ Set clear boundaries in workplace relationships
✅ Be mindful of red flags and warning signs
✅ Stay accountable and resist temptation

A marriage built on trust, commitment, and communication can withstand temptation. Water your own grass, and it will always be greener.