Some of these weaknesses may be inherent in us or cultivated over the years because of our undisciplined habits or persistently bad practices. The key is to acknowledge and manage our weaknesses.

We have to learn to deal squarely with character flaws. Our weaknesses will not go away. If we harbor bitterness, it will haunt us. If we don’t manage our anger, it will devour us. If we don’t deal with our addictions, they will destroy us.

The first step is to own up to our weaknesses, apologize to those we have hurt, and be willing to seek help. This can come from a support group, others who can hold us accountable, or professional counselling. This must be done, no matter how long it takes.

The rewiring process of the brain can take a long time, but it will be well worth the effort as our flaws are corrected intentionally and stopped from affecting our lives.

“Far too busy managing our transactive speed, we rarely step back to lead with transformative significance.”[i]

In our fast pace world, reflection has become a luxury. Taking strategic pauses to reflect on life, our successes and failures, our strengths and our failures must be made a high priority. This can be a life-changing transformative experience for us as leaders.

Reflection has become my regimen, since the day in 1995 I discovered three blockages in my heart: the main left artery (99% blocked) and two others (half and three-quarters blocked). My hectic lifestyle and ambition driven had taken a toll on my heart. It was truly a miracle that I survived.

Then, I read the book by Chris Lowney, “Heroic Leadership”, which recommended the Jesuit’s practice of examen, ‘rumination on the run’.

I have since adopted this into my lifestyle. Since that near death experience, I now spend 5 minutes at the beginning of each day pausing to re-focus on God and what’s important and re-examine my priorities. During the last five minutes before sleep, I reflect on what has transpired and thank God for the day’s experiences.

In addition, I make time for a 24-hour Sabbath rest every week, from Friday 6.30 pm to Saturday at 6.30 pm. During this period, I allow myself to do what I enjoy like watching my favorite soccer team, Manchester United in action, spending time with family (like watching a movie or going for meals together), and delighting in the beauty of life.

These regimes have made me a more grateful and thoughtful person. I have become emotionally healthier, less reactive, more sensitive and live more purposeful life. Indeed, pause powers life!

Daniel Vasella, Chairman and CEO of Norvatis for 15 years has commented:

“Pause gives room to oneself and to others. It allows the digestion of things both conceptual, and emotional. Pause can be a way to sense-making by bring together a more integrated, complete picture of what is happening in and around us.”[ii]

It’s good advice from a man who has spent so long navigating a $58 billion life-science business!

“Lack of sleep hurts these cognitive processes in many ways it impairs attention, alertness, concentration, reasoning, and problem solving.”
– Camille Peri, 10 Things to Hate about Sleep Loss[i]

Our flaws and lack of judgment are usually accentuated by stress and lack of rest. Studies by sleep experts’ show that the lack of sleep distorts our perception and diminish our mental alertness.

If we have less than 7 hours of sleep consistently, sleep deprivation can make us behave like drunk-drivers Looks like we have many drunk-drivers in our organizations!

I agree with Kevin Cushman “Sleep is an amazing, natural capability for transformation, if we want to reach peak levels of performance. We abused this inherent gift with overwork, increased stress and too much stimulation.”

“What we have to do… is to find a way to celebrate our diversity and debate our differences without fracturing our communities.”
– Hilary Clinton 

None of us have a complete set of competencies & personality types that will suit everyone. We need to find co-leaders who can accept us for who we are, accept others for who they us, who can complement us, without denying our individuality. The ability to do this is a unique gift that will help become better leaders.

In this way, we learn to work with people who are different. We manage around our weaknesses when we learn to appreciate people who are different.

They may seem irritable and irritating at times because we prefer people who are like us. But, in the long run, if both parties can learn to work together, maximizing each other’s strengths, the organization will be better and stronger.

“When you give people the permission to correct your mistake, you are giving them courage.”

As we climb the corporate ladder, there will be fewer and fewer people, especially our subordinates, who will dare to correct us. They are less willing to give us candid feedback, instead telling us what we want to hear. But it may not be the full truth.

While our egos may take some injury in the correction process, the long-term result is a stronger, more united team that dares to correct its leaders when necessary.

 “A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.”
– John Maxwell

In describing disgraced NYSE Chairman Peter Grasso’s leadership, one executive opined that after Grasso resignation NYSE, people were ‘walking like zombies’. Indeed Grasso had controlled things for so many years, they ‘forgot how to think’.[i]

It is our nature to be less stringent on us but harder on others. There is also a tendency for us to overstate our strengths and understate our weaknesses. We have an innate desire to perceive ourselves better than we really are.

This can also happen because we ignore and refuse constructive feedback. The higher we climb in our leadership position, the more difficult for us to receive feedback and criticism. “After all, it is our strengths that have brought us to this place of success and to our leadership positions,” we reason.

One big challenge: many successful leaders do not like feedback, especially if it is negative. Most of their peers and subordinates also do not want (or are afraid to) give honest feedback, for fear of repercussions and ramifications. The irony is that our followers and peers know what our weaknesses but not us!

Worse still, our success can make us arrogant; arrogance leads to blind spots and blind spots will lead to blindness. The process is frightening: first, we assume that we can do no wrong. If we do fail, we think it is an aberration. Second, we become less and less open to feedback. Third, we react negatively and defensively when people give us feedback. Fourth, they stop giving us feedback.

Our ‘house of cards’ is not built in a day. Jim Collins, best-selling business author, writes about the crisis of business ethics in the wake of the bankruptcies at Enron and WorldCom. He describes how some business people went wrong[i]:

“Some business executives were a part of] the malleable masses. These were people who, in the presence of an opportunity to behave differently, got drawn into it, one step after another.

 If you told them 10 years ahead of time, “Hey, let’s cook the books and all get rich,” they would never go along with it. But that’s rarely how most people get drawn into activities that they later regret.

When you are at step A, it feels inconceivable to jump all the way to step Z, if step Z involves something that is a total breach of your values.

But if you go from step A to step B, then step B to step C, then step C to step D…then someday, you wake up and discover that you are at step Y, and the move to step Z comes about much easier.”

Leaders need to be aware that the road to hell is paved with good intentions and begins with small steps of deceit, greed and unchecked weakness.